Reasons someone might eat a bicycle

by yours truly, @pacisparrae and @lost-in-frog-land

• fun
• bragging rights
• party trick
• quirky new hobby
• hatred of bicycles
• to avoid paying for bicycle disposal for your old bike
• revenge on someone else's bicycle
• public demonstration
• to prove a point
• for charity
• extreme sport
• got paid by big cars
• world record attempt
• curiosity
• the want to know what happens if you eat a bike
• confuse doctors
• shenanigans with a metal detector
• texture
• death wish
• recycling
• desire to prove people wrong
• to show the degradation in bicycle quality
• stress eating
• had a manic episode where you thought eating a bicycle would turn you into one
• my strange addiction
• taste
• to impress someone
• to disappoint parents further
• to freak someone out
• to assert dominance
• in an attempt to strengthen your immune system
• for a bet
• compulsions
• iron deficiency
• reduce pollution/waste dumped
• spit bicycle pieces at people
• too many bicycles
• advertisement for a bike business
• to get your own reality show
• to one-up the person who ate half a bicycle
• to get out of family dinner
• cult activities
• better than eating a home pc
• medical emergency to get out of work
• its your job
• ran out of storage space
• for science
• sudden need to get rid of a bicycle (fast)
• circus act
• government told you to
• thought it was a very realistic cake
• tiktok trend
• someone told you not to
• on accident
• for internet clout
• cinnamon challenge but with a bike
• cant ride a bike and mad about it
• celebration for getting a drivers licence
• bad habit
• saw trap
• peer pressure
• school project
• method acting as a character who eats bicycles
• actual acting as a character who eats bicycles
• procrastinating something
• about to get hit by a bicycle
• stand-up comedy
• fear that one day your daughter who is a princess will pierce her finger on a bicycle and die
• hungry (on a desert island with nothing to eat but a bicycle)
• don't know what a bicycle is
• love your bicycle so much
• prank
• romantic gesture
• didn't want to carry it any more
• scare away creepy guys
• scared
• to be admitted to a mental hospital in order to conduct psychological research
• embarrassed about your uncool bicycle
• hate your digestive system
• needed a new life purpose
• think its an experimental cure for ibs
• read an article titled "this woman ate a bicycle and it changed her life... doctors hate her!"
• bored of food
• new weight loss diet
• beauty standard is now women who look like they eat bicycles
• sex thing
• alternate reality in which people eat bicycles
• art piece
• posing for a artist who paints people eating bicycles

Rule

oozing black ichor btw. if u care.

yeah its getting everywhere. you should touch it

reddit is dying twitter is dying tumblr is next as people move over here in response and the corporate side of the company starts drooling at the prospect of EVEN MORE MONEY so they make staff change the website to be shittier and more like the dying websites. whats next? fireside gathering at my house where we pass the posting stick around that indicates youre allowed to make a post with words that come out of your mouth

[id: a banner which says: This user thinks disability pride month is just as important as queer pride month; the background is light blue, there is a Disability Pride flag left of the text. End id]

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I'm trying to prove something.

Reblog if your blog is a safe place for asexuals.

I never understood why "Sucks dick" means "Thing nobody likes" should be the polar opposite "This meal is so good, it sucks dick!" You know? OH SHIT

Wheres that “before pride month ends does anyone want to admit they have a crush on me” post, like I know it’s only the 11th but I cant stop thinking abt it

ok so I know exactly what you’re talking about but I can only find the one with bowser :/

Honestly I think the bowser version is better than the original

Today, one of my second graders was working on shape name recognition, and we got to this picture of a pyramid shape with a wide-ish base. When he saw it, his eyes lit up and he turned to me with a huge grin on his face, pointed at it, and said "When the teacher forgets to assign homework" before bursting out into hysterics, covering his mouth and giggling.

I don't understand what happened except this kid CLEARLY knows about the strong comedic and memeable value of mathematical shapes and emotions that I, an old millennial, cannot comprehend

I did, however, try to recreate this moment as the meme this child must have seen in his head

maybe he was thinking of the dancing triangle meme??

i have seen this gif with that exact caption before. this is absolutely the one he was thinking of

That kid saw one of the simplest geometric shapes and said that's blorbo from my memes 👍